Last week was a difficult one for me personally, and I encountered some challenges that in the past would probably have knocked me down flat. The details aren’t important, but what is important is exploring the resiliency that it takes to get back up after a difficult moment, and how we can all strengthen that resiliency.
Human beings are comfort-seeking creatures. When we experience discomfort, we do everything we can to avoid feeling it. That can lead to substance or process addictions, or even to behaviors that society endorses but that are ultimately harmful, such as overworking, disconnecting from our own emotions or disconnecting from the loved ones who surround us.
However, if instead of acting on the impulse to avoid discomfort, we lean into it and offer ourselves tenderness and compassion we can come out on the other side stronger than we were before. Admittedly, I sometimes struggle asking for help. Like many therapists, I am better at offering it to others than asking for it myself. What I have learned to do is to visualize a trust fall into the arms of those who I know care for me deeply. That gives me the mental space that I need to heal from something difficult. It is a delicious feeling!
Ask yourself these questions:
Who are the people or creatures or guides (🐱 🐶🐾🪷🌳💗) in your life that you most trust?
When things get difficult, can you imagine leaning back and allowing them to care for you, either literally or metaphorically?
Are you able to do the same for them when they are struggling?
Sometimes the most important pivot is not in our behavior, but in the way that we view ourselves and the world.
At the end of the day, that is really the only thing that we have any control over.
(In case you need a laugh today, you can watch the PIVOT scene from Friends HERE.)