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The Escape Epidemic: Why We Run from Pain and How to Transform it Instead


Photo by Stella Jacob on Unsplash


Hey there, my fellow seekers of mental clarity and well-being! Have you ever found yourself daydreaming about escaping from the daily grind? Trust me, you're not alone. Welcome to the "Escape Epidemic," a fascinating phenomenon that delves into our innate tendency to dodge suffering and its potential impact on our overall mental health. Let's dive into why we do it and explore how we can actually find deeper fulfillment by facing life head-on.


The Temptation of Other Worlds: Elon Musk's Cosmic Dreams

Alright, let's kick things off with a little space talk. Elon Musk is, of course, the tech wizard behind Tesla and SpaceX. He's all about making life multi-planetary, colonizing Mars and beyond. Now, that's some serious ambition. But let's take a step back. Could it be that these grand cosmic dreams are, in part, fueled by our desire to escape Earth's everyday trials and tribulations?


The thing is, reaching for the stars is undeniably inspiring. We've always looked up at the night sky with a mix of wonder and curiosity. However, are we aiming for the stars to escape our problems down here? We must ask ourselves whether exploring new horizons should be driven by a genuine pursuit of knowledge and progress or if it's a way to flee from the challenges we face on our home planet. I suspect the latter.


Virtual Realms and Alternate Realities: Second Life and the Metaverse

Now, let's pivot into the digital dimension or virtual reality. Ever wandered into Second Life or wondered about the metaverse? These are like digital playgrounds where you can be anyone, do anything, and live out your wildest fantasies. It's like a getaway without actually going anywhere. But hold on – are we trading genuine human connections for pixelated perfection? Are we losing ourselves in these alternate realities while the real world ticks on?


I will admit, when my son brought home his VR headset I tried it out. I was bored after about 10 min but I could definitely see the appeal.


Our craving for alternate realities isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, who hasn't dreamed of escaping into a world where everything is just the way we want it? The issue arises when we start prioritizing these digital lives over our physical, tangible experiences. The metaverse might offer a tantalizing promise of endless possibilities, but what about the richness of face-to-face interactions and the textures of real life? Are we risking missing out on the authentic moments that give life its depth and meaning?


The Psychedelic Renaissance: Mind-Altering Escapes

If you follow my writing you already know that I am a proponent of using psychedelics for deep healing but I am not so eager for them to be used simply recreationally. These mind-altering substances promise a ticket to realms unknown, a way to escape the shackles of reality, even if just for a while. In clinical settings, psychedelic psychotherapy has proven to be incredibly powerful and transformative. The key with psychedelics is to use them not to escape, but as tools to explore our inner landscapes and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. These powerful medicines offer a way to find meaning. Using them to escape from reality is almost a level of blasphemy.


The allure of psychedelics isn't hard to understand. They offer a way to break free from the monotony of everyday life and experience reality in a completely different light. Yet, there's a question that lingers – are we truly escaping when we take these substances, or are we just experiencing a different facet of reality? Could these altered states of consciousness actually bring us closer to the truth about ourselves and the world around us?


Buddhist Wisdom: The Power of Acceptance in the Face of Suffering

Alright, let's take a breather from all the buzz and tap into some ancient wisdom. Buddhism has a thing or two to say about suffering. They're all about acceptance – recognizing that pain is a part of life's package deal. Rather than fleeing from it, they propose sitting down with suffering and having a heart-to-heart. It's like saying, "Hey, I see you, pain. Let's chat." By embracing suffering, we create space for growth and self-discovery.


This brings us to a crucial question – why do we often avoid suffering at all costs? Ironically, avoiding suffering might protect us temporarily, but it also prevents us from learning some of life's most profound lessons and it leads to longe, deeper suffering. Buddhism suggests that by accepting suffering and facing it head-on, we don't just escape its grip – we transform it into a powerful catalyst for personal growth and understanding.


Embracing Suffering: Effective Coping Strategies

Now, let's get practical. How can we deal with life's curveballs without resorting to escape tactics? Here are some real-world strategies that can make a big difference:


  1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Ever tried tuning into the present moment? Mindfulness and meditation are like a secret weapon for staying connected with reality, even when things get tough. If you struggle with mindfulness and meditation that you may benefit from one of the many apps that are available. My personal favorite and one that I use my cell phone with my clients is called the BrainTap.

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  1. Bouncing Back with Resilience: Life's got its ups and downs – it's a rollercoaster, right? Building resilience is like strapping on your mental seatbelt, helping you ride out the rough patches. You can build resilience by practicing one of my favorite bits of wisdom: sometimes the only way out is through. When you experience something painful and come out on the other side you begin to trust that you can do hard things.

  2. Let Those Emotions Flow: Yup, emotions are part of the human package. Give yourself permission to express them – whether by talking, writing, or simply letting the tears roll. Sometimes you have to feel it to heal it.

  3. Move It, Move It: Physical activity isn't just about fitness; it's a mood booster too. Get those endorphins flowing and watch your emotional well-being soar. You don't have to go to the gym and you don't have to break a sweat. Go outside for a walk or do some gentle stretching. Our bodies were built to move and if we don't move them with stagnate physically and emotionally both.

  4. Unleash Your Inner Artist: Creative outlets – painting, playing music, writing – these are your therapy sessions. Expressing yourself can help you process your emotions in a healthy way. Create it out that's her way of exploring emotions and a nonverbal way and actually tapping into your limbic (emotional) system rather than your cognitive functions.

  5. Nature's Embrace: Mother Nature's got a calming touch. When life gets heavy, spend time outdoors. It's like hitting the reset button on your soul. You may have heard people talking about forest bathing as a practice. It's actually incredibly grounding and healing just to BE in nature.


Photo by Michal Vrba on Unsplash


7. Help Others, Help Yourself: Lending a hand to someone in need can work wonders for your own mental health. Acts of kindness create ripples of positivity that come right back to you. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) we teach many different kinds of coping skills and one of them is called contributions. When you are focused on helping someone else through their suffering, it takes you away from your own. It's truly a win-win!


Final Thoughts: Embracing the Journey

So here's the scoop, my fellow adventurers: the "Escape Epidemic" might be tempting, but it's the challenges and the pain that shape us into the incredible beings we are. As the band Live put it, "the greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself chained to pain." Buddhism has a point – suffering isn't the enemy. It's more like a wise mentor, teaching us life's most valuable lessons.

Let's face it all – the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. When life gets messy, lean into it, learn from it, and come out wiser and stronger. Escaping might offer a temporary break but result in longer term suffering. Instead, embracing life's challenges and pain can lead to lasting growth and fulfillment. Remember, the real escape isn't about running from suffering; it's about using it as a stepping stone to a richer, more meaningful life journey. So, my fellow travelers, let's embrace the journey, the pain, and the beauty it brings.

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